Lunch in Paris and grief

It's quiet at work today, so I have the time to pop in and get a post up for you guys!

I wanted to begin by telling you about an amazing book I just finished reading: Elizabeth Bard's 'Lunch in Paris'. It is the delicious, heartwarming and sometimes heartwrenching story of a young American woman who meets a frenchmen while studying and her move to Paris in order to be with him. There are recipes at the end of every chapter that the author either cooked herself or enjoyed eating after they were made by a member of her family or a friend. All of them were made with fresh, local ingredients, mostly purchased by the author at her local market. I loved every single page of this book and it is one of the few things that has gotten me laughing since I bought it last week. I cannot recommend this book to you highly enough, just make sure that you don't read it while hungry :)

Aside from that, my Sweetheart has come home, safe and sound. I collected him from the airport on Tuesday night and stayed at his place until I had to leave for work yesterday afternoon and then met up with him Downtown last night after he was done attending a conference and headed back to his place. We had a bit of a talk last night about everything that happened to my family and I while we were away and exactly what had happened to my father in order for him to pass away in a matter of days. My poor Sweetheart has had the wind knocked out of him by all this since he was so far away. When I told him that I was having a bit of a hard time yesterday he asked me exactly what was bothering me in order for me to feel upset one day and almost normal the next. I told him that it was not a matter of one specific thing bothering me, that grief just works that way. You are up and down, up and down all the time, but even when you are feeling up, there is always an emptiness in you that was not there before. The sense that your loved one is missing and will never come back. Maybe that eases after a time, but from what I've been told, it never goes away. I have been told though that with time the up days begin increase and eventually outnumber the down days. 

I will admit that the experience of loss and grief has been different from what I thought it would be. I imagined that I would be sad all at once and that when I began to feel better, I would keep feeling better. I expected to feel better in slow in stages, but I definitely never expected to be on what feels more like weeks of PMS. I've been told that this is normal by other people who have been through the loss of someone very dear to them and that the roller coaster will go on for a while yet, so at least I've been warned.

I am just about done my first full day of work since just before my father passed away and it has gone very well, so I'm pleased about that. I had been doing half days since Tuesday of last week. I'm now looking forward to my birthday party with my friends tomorrow and my birthday dinner with my family on Sunday and more than anything else, more time with my Sweetheart. He is going to his brother's place to spend time with his family this evening and overnight, so we will see each other again tomorrow at the restaurant with our friends. I am so, so looking forward to having a much deserved night out with my crew :)

I hope you all have a lovely weekend and look forward to reading your comments. I've missed you guys since I've been blogging less, but I think I'm ready to get back into the loop.