Quick 'I'm still alive' post

Hi everyone,

I'm just popping in really quickly to let you all know that I am still alive.

My father seems to be doing okay on his own at home so far. He went for his first appointment with his new general practitionner yesterday and he really likes him and he has been talking about building a new life for himself, so we're all cautiously, emphasis on the cautiously, optimistic.

As for me, I'm very tired and have been very busy this week. On Tuesday I wanted to get to bed early since I was working early on Wednesday, then on Wednesday I went to a concert with my mom and yesterday I worked late, did laundry, baked some hors d'oeuvres for a party I'm going to tonight and then had my Sweetheart dop in unexpectedly. Today I am doing a day shift again so I can go to a party tonight and who knows what the weekend will hold.

I really miss blogging and I am hoping to be able to post regularly again soon once things are more stable with my dad and things a bit less crazy on my end as well. Getting back to my normal day time schedule will undoubtedly help and that will happen on Septembre 10th. I will, of course, be posting again before then!

Today I...August 27th

A peaceful corner of Montreal's Botanical Gardens

Today I...

...felt all kinds of emotions when I found out that my father was being released from the hospital. Mostly I felt apprehension. While he was in the hospital he was monitored and sheltered and we knew where he was at all times and that he was being taken care of and was taking care of himself. Now, he is back home and while my brother and I would love to be able to keep him in a bubble and have nanny cams in the house so we could know what he was up to all the time, we cannot. He is on his own and he has to decide for himself whether he wants to be well now and live a reasonably long life or not. We cannot force him to live a healthier lifestyle, he has to take the initiative himself, no matter how much we would like to shake him into it.

...was thankful for my colleagues and friends at work for their support and being so willing to listen to me and offer their support.

...went for a nice long jog.

...spoke with my Sweetheart for a bit.

...got through one day this week. I am going to feed my cats, have a shower and watch an episode of Downton Abbey to continue unwinding before going to sleep and facing another day tomorrow. One day at a time and we will all get through this and hopefully the outcome will be positive. What I am hoping for right now more than anything else though is peacefulness and happiness for myself and my family. We need it so badly and if we can't all have it, then maybe I'll run away for a weekend and get some myself before I go stir crazy.

Today I...August 24th

A butterfly sitting on a flower at the Botanical Gardens last weekend

Today I...

...woke up in my Sweetheart's arms, a lovely feeling indeed :o)

...went to visit my father in the hospital. He is going to be there at least until Monday when a meeting will be held to see if he can be released to go home or whether he will have to spend some time in a convalescent home until he is completely recovered from his illness physically if he is not thought to be so on Monday.

...went to do a bit of cleaning at my father's place.

...was hoping to go to an organ concert at the Oratory this evening, but I stayed at my father's a bit longer than I had planned and then got caught in traffic on the way back into town, so I ended up nixing the concert, buying some sushi for dinner on the way home and then spending the evening doing the laundry, eating sushi and watching Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince on TV.

...am having a day for myself tomorrow, which means I will be running some errands.

...am looking forward to going out to dinner with my mom, my aunt and my brother tomorrow.

Today I...August 22nd

Black-Eyed Susans at the Botanical Gardens

Today I...

...had another busy day at work. I have been getting lots of bookings for the Fall and believe it or not, the school group bookings for groups coming from Ontario have started coming in for next Spring. School bookings always seem to flood in right when I really don't need the extra work. I just spent two weeks taking over D's work while he was away and now C is on vacation for two weeks, so I have taken over most of her work. I can't wait until everyone is done taking their vacations!

...am happy to report that my father seems to be agreeing to get the help he needs to make sure he recovers completely from his illness. I sent him a message of encouragement last night to help him along and show him that I really believe that he can get back on track, so hopefully if I keep that up it will give him the boost he needs to keep on going in the right direction. He is still in hospital and we don't know how long he will be there, but he is doing much better than he was this time last week.

...was given a peach and a piece of dark chocolate with nuts in it by Father C this afternoon and then my boss, Father M. gave me two medium-sized danishes from the monastery kitchen, one apricot and one strawberry. I told him that I would really have to make sure get my jogging in tomorrow if I ate them both, which I did. I preferred the apricot one.

...am so, so looking forward to my Sweetheart coming home tomorrow. I feel like he's been gone forever! He's making it out of Haiti just in time too, it looks like Tropical Storm Isaac is sent to run right over Haiti Friday into Saturday.

...will try and get a Skywatch post up tomorrow, it's been a while!

...am hoping to have a bit of an easier time getting to sleep tonight. I've understandably been having issues since my father fell ill.

Today I...August 20th

Click on photo to enlarge and see bees on the flowers

Today I...

...am sharing some photos from my visit to the Botanical Gardens with all of you. It was one of my treats to myself yesterday to help me get my mind off everything that's been going on in my family. I've blogged about the Botanical Gardens before, it really is a wonderful place to visit and this was my first time going there in the Summer. They have all kinds of sections in the gardens, for annual flowers, perennial flowers, an orchard, a lilac glen, an arboretum and also ornamental vegetable and fruit gardens, where they really, really don't want you to pick anything, be it a zucchini, grape, or blackberry...

..see?

I had a lot of fun wandering around the gardens and taking pictures and will share more with you in my next posts.

...am happy to report that my father has been doing much better since the weekend and we seem to possibly be making some headway with getting him into a clinic to treat his depression and other issues once he is released from the hospital.

...am looking forward to my Sweetheart coming home on Thursday and am hoping to see him soon after his return.

...am looking forward to my aunt coming to visit from Toronto! She will be arriving on Thursday as well.

...am doing very well with my jogging, I did my second 3 km run last night and will stay consistent with it until it gets too easy. Then I will bump it up to 3.5 km. I've already begun thinking about where I will run when that becomes necessary, because I am running out of places to go immediately around my apartment building. I'm already running the entire distance I used to run and then walk around to cool down and have resorted to doing a walk around my block after running around it to cool down. I'll figure something out, I'm sure!

Today I...

Today I...
...am getting a quick post up from the information booth at work. It has been another rough week with roller coaster information about my dad. Having him in a hospital across town in getting pretty hard for my brother and I as we find that we really don't get enough information first hand. I am very tired from going back and forth on the bus and with all the emotions I'm going through and it looks like I'm going to be dealing with this for at least another two weeks unless my father begins to improve very quickly. I'll keep posting as often as I'm able.

Today I...August 14th

Farmer's Field in St. Peter's, Prince Edward Island

Today I...

...am getting a quick post up before going to bed.

...am happy to report that despite my father still being in hospital, he is feeling a bit better every day and I am feeling a bit more like myself every day.

...was relieved when my aunt and my grandmother cleared up an administrative snafu and were able to make it clear to my father's doctors that he was in no way ready to go home today. I was afraid I was going to have to go to the hospital myself and give them heck, but my aunt and grandmother did a pretty good job of it all on their own.

...went out for some groceries after work.

...reached a new all time best for my jogging: 3kms! I am most pleased with myself. I am currently icing some sore tendons in my right ankle, but reaching a new goal felt great.

...am going to hurry along and answer my Sweetheart's e-mail before going to bed, I have to get up early tomorrow since my brother is coming to get so we can go and visit our father in the hospital before going to work. I'll try and post again tomorrow.

Today I...August 12th

Souris light house in Souris, Prince Edward Island

Today I...

...spent two hours visiting my father in the hospital. He was doing better today, which was wonderful to see, but he still has a long way to go.

...stopped at the mall on the way home to grab a smoothie and make a few calls before switching buses and decided to stop in at my favorite store, RW&Co. I have been shopping there since they first opened in 1999 (my mom brought me there saying there was a new store that had opened and she thought I might like their clothes and she was right) and they have always had excellent quality clothing that is affordable and stylish. I had been a bit disappointed with their stuff they had in their last few collections and found myself wondering if I was outgrowing them, but when I walked into the store today, it was just like it used to be and I found piece after piece of clothing that I loved. I was on the phone with my Grandma G. while wandering around the store so I didn't buy anything on my first walk through, but I went back after hanging up with her and ended up with a wonderful salesgirl who was almost like a personal shopper. She suggested outfit combinations, got all the right sizes for me just by looking at me and was not too intrusive while I was in the fitting room. I ended up buying a skirt, a pair of pants, a top, a cardigan and a camisole for under 240$ and leaving with a little smile on my face, which was great after the week I had.

...got stung by a wasp on the inside of my left ankle while waiting for the bus at the mall. If you have never been stung by a wasp, I suggest you try your hardest not to, it hurts like heck!

...finally washed my dishes. I have been home so little since Tuesday and have been so tired when I have been home that I had not washed them since then. Luckily, there was only one very well rinsed pan and plate, some closed and empty Ziploc containers from my dinners at work, some glasses and lots of cutlery in there, so nothing too major. I got it all washed in about 15 minutes.

...was hoping I would be able to go for a jog tonight, even if it was only half the distance I usually run, but I am still just way, way too tired and even if I wasn't, I got stung by that wasp right where my running shoes fit onto my ankle. The sting is still sore, so running would not have been possible. Hopefully I will be able to make it out tomorrow, because I haven't jogged in a week :o(

...am waiting for my Sweetheart to call me back. He's leaving for Haiti tomorrow. If he doesn't call back soon, I'm going to fall asleep waiting for him though. Goodnight...

Long story short

Hi everyone,

As you have more than likely noticed, I have not been around this week and last week was patchy. To make a long story short, my father has not been well since retiring in January. He did not have a gradual lead-up to his retirement as most people have and he had a very high-power job that he was very intense about, so when he suddenly had to retire at a rather young age (57), he took it very hard and became very depressed. He has always had a tendency toward depression and his retirement basically gave him a huge sucker punch. My family and I tried everything we could to help him out, from my calling him regularly and trying to get him to come out to the market with me, or take me fishing, or go for sushi, to my brother stopping by to have a beer with him and watch some sports, to my grandmother and my aunt calling him incessantly, to all of us being super positive about his retirement, including my Sweetheart who told my father at my birthday in February that he would retire on the spot if he could. Nothing worked and my father just sank deeper and deeper into depression until his condition became incredibly alarming. We were contemplating using major force to get him the help he needed when he felt so physically ill that he scared himself into asking for help. My aunt and uncle drove him to the clinic to see their family doctor and he bundled my father right off to the emergency room this past Sunday. He is still in the hospital and will be there for a while. We are all so relieved that he is getting the help he needs, but it has been an incredibly emotional week and I am still reeling from it. I know that today is Saturday, but the time between Wednesday and last night is just one huge melting pot for me, it all felt like one very long, long day because things all happened so fast. I am incredibly grateful to my Sweetheart, because I do not know what I would have become without him. I have either been with him or spoken to him every single day since Tuesday. He held me when I cried, listened to me when I needed to talk and made sure that I ate and slept as much as I was able to. Thank God this all happened this week while he was in town rather than next week when he will be away. I'm sure God saw all this coming and he purposely sent Hurricane Ernesto toward the Caribbean on purpose to make sure that my Sweetheart would not leave for Haiti on Tuesday this week as he was originally supposed to. 

We're pretty sure that the worst is over now for my father. His physical condition is slowly getting better and he was finally able to get a private room in the hospital this evening (he had been in the very noisy ER since Wednesday). I spent the day with him on Wednesday and then went back to see him for the first time since then this morning. He was very drowsy and therefore confused, but much more conversational. I'm planning on going back to see him tomorrow and I will bring him some flowers and an image of Brother André  and the Oratory that I got for him at work yesterday to brighten up his room. My posting and commenting will more than likely continue to be sparse, but I'll try and get back into the swing of things this week. It will depend on my mood and on how my day has been. This whole situation will take some getting used to because even once his body is better, it will take quite some time for my father to get over his depression. If any of you have ever dealt with a family member or a friend who has been severely depressed, I could really use some pointers on how to help my father through this. He has been down before, but has always bounced back. This time is different and I'm worried that even once he's home I will always be afraid that he is going to become depressed again and how we will be able to keep him from sinking so low again if he does. He wouldn't let any of us into his house. He never really was big on visitors, so we didn't think anything of it until he stopped coming out to see us.

If you could all pray for us and send us positive thoughts, my family and I would greatly appreciate it.

Today I...August 5th

Yet another view of Green Gables Farm, Cavendish, PEI (can you tell I loved the time I spent there?)

Today I...

...felt bad for my Sweetheart after being a bit upset with him last night. He was being M. Crankypants, you see, and griped at me for some pretty silly stuff, but I chalked it up to his getting 500$ worth of vaccinations on Friday for his upcoming trips to Haiti and Angola. He had to take another vaccine today, a liquid one for cholera and he's feeling even worse physically, but maybe a bit less like M. Crankypants.

...got soaked in a downpour while walking home from the pet supply store with my brother. It is just two blocks from my apartment, but I needed his help to carry a 45 lb. bag of kitty little home for me (that's not far off of half my body weight). My brother was miffed at me for letting him drive to the supply store because he didn't know it was so close to my place, but I could tell there was a big rain shower coming. He insisted walking back to my place however, so I hollered at him when we got poured on.

...made my way to Jean-Talon Market to get some porcini and portobello mushroom ravioli for dinner and made a lemon, cream and thyme sauce to go with it, yum!!! Here is the recipe, in case any of you want to try it.

...went for a 2.25 km jog after the weather cooled off. It was awesome, there was a great breeze and I worked up a great sweat and totally burned off the cream sauce from my dinner, I'm sure of it. Now I Just wish I was allowed to wear my new skinny jeans to work so I could show off how awesome my legs have become since I started jogging back in June!

...am looking forward to going for ice cream with my grandparents after work tomorrow!

Today I...August 3rd

A different kind of view of Green Gables Farm in Cavendish, PEI

Today I...

...was glad I had slept with my windows closed to keep the heat out when I wandered into my kitchen for breakfast and heard that my neighbor who does not know how to turn off their alarm clock was at it again. The kitchen window is always open because my gas stove constantly emits heat. If I keep that window closed in the summer, I may as well have all of the others open because the apartment will get just as hot! Anyhow, luckily my bedroom windows were closed. No heart monitor dreams for me!

...had a pretty busy day at work with lots of phone calls and replacing in the information booth and data entry.

...walked home.

...still don't know whether my Sweetheart is leaving for Haiti on Monday or not as he has been AWOL since Wednesday night. If he hasn't popped up on Skype by 10:30 or 11:00 tonight, I'm going to call his cell phone.

...am glad it's the weekend, I'm looking forward to some relaxation!

Skywatch Friday

This week's Skywatch photo is a shot of the beautiful sunset I was treated to on my first evening in Prince Edward Island. I drove all the way to Cavendish Beach that first evening. I landed at 6:00 P.M. and was on the beach by 8:00 P.M. It was very windy and rather chilly and my feet froze so badly after I put them in the water that they didn't feel warm again until 3:00 A.M., but I honestly didn't care. The sunset, the sound of the waves and the sea air made it all more than worth a set of frozen toes :o)

To see more Skywatch photos from around the world, stop by the Skywatch Friday blog.

I hope you all enjoy your weekend! Be sure and soak up the Summer sunshine while you can, it's already August and it will be Fall before you know it!

Today I...August 1st

Bay and farmers' fields in Victoria By The Sea, PEI. Click to enlarge and you will see men in boats harvesting oysters.

Today I...

...woke up early with my Sweetheart and sat with him while he ate his breakfast, then went back to bed when he left.

...didn't really get back to sleep, just dozed until I felt rested enough to get up. I will get the hang of this getting back to sleep after Sweetheart leaves for work, it'll just take a while and by the time I'm used to it, I'll be back on a schedule where I'll have to get up early to go to work too :o)

...made it out for a 2.2km jog after work, I was quite happy to be able to get out there, because between being wiped out on Monday and then rain last night, I hadn't been able to run since Saturday!

...just finished Skyping with Sweetheart, a nice end to my evening. He may be leaving for Haiti on Monday, but is not 100% sure yet. He'd like to go down there, but the timing is not the greatest for him right now because of some work he has to get done here and the folks in Haiti are being pretty last minute with making up their minds about whether they want my Sweetheart and E down there on Monday or not. I hope not. He just got back from vacation two weeks ago and I would really like for him to stay home a bit longer before leaving again. He'll hopefully find out whether he's going or not tomorrow.