Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Today I...April 5th

Today I...

...am sharing this lovely, lovely song by Sia with you. It is from the soundtrack of Twilight: Eclipse and unfortunately is impossible to download without purchasing the entire soundtrack from iTunes. I hate it when that happens...I don't want the entire soundtrack, just this one song and it is not sold anywhere as a single and is not of any of Sia's other albums. Oh well, I guess I'll just have to get my fix of it off of YouTube :oJ I hope you enjoy it!

...have a migraine, unfortunately. I'm happy that I've been getting a lot fewer of these since beginning to deal with a hormone imbalance issue that I didn't even know I had until a few months ago. Unfortunately I still seem doomed to get at least one a month along with a certain other monthly affliction. Enough said?

...am trying very hard not to worry myself into a tizzy over the fact that my Sweetheart is leaving for Haiti tomorrow. His going there is what was at the root of our issue last week. I have a very well implanted mistrust and fear of Haiti. I have only ever met friendly, welcoming and generally happy Haitian here in Canada, but they all say the same thing, they would never go back to live in Haiti, or at least not until the country's many issues are resolved. My Sweetheart had mentioned, not long after the earthquake happened there last year that he would like to go there and help the Haitians learn how to build seismically resistant housing. I was full of admiration for him for having the idea and he even showed me a few designs for houses that he had come up with, but this was nearly a year ago. When he asked me last week if I would like to go to Port-au-Prince with him, I flipped out briefly and told him that I didn't want either of us to go and he dropped the issue. I later apologized for my reaction and he didn't mention it again until Wednesday, when he sent me his flight itinerary for his week long trip there and then three days split between Fort Lauderdale and Miami. He didn't explain to me why he was going there or where exactly he was going to be, all he sent me was the itinerary with 'Port-Au-Prince' on it. He had told me when he asked me if I wanted to go that he had a friend there that he would like to see, but nothing more, nothing about housing projects which would have made the trip seem far safer to me than just going to visit a buddy. Visiting a buddy in Port-Au-Prince is not a good reason for putting yourself in harm's way in my books, just because he's enough of a nut to want to go there doesn't mean that you have to be! Anyhow, I was gripped with fear and flipped out accordingly and he didn't understand why and told me so in the e-mail he sent to me explaining to me that he was going there to build houses and that I had been all for it the last time he told me about it. Oh dear...try calling me to tell me you're going someplace I'm afraid of first of all, don't just throw a flight itinerary at me and second of all, when you call me, remind me about the project and tell me you're going to be in a suburb SOUTH of Port-Au-Prince so I'll know you won't be right IN the city where people get kidnapped and much worse! Anyhow, it took be 24 hours to apologize to him for flipping out that time and I spent the better part of two days either in tears or on the verge of it. Now I'm calmer, C has been working on reassuring me that he will be safe and it's helping. I think she feels bad because she knows that the main reason I'm so afraid of Haiti is because of her and what she went through there before and what the conditions in Haiti have put her through since then. My Sweetheart is leaving for Haiti tomorrow morning and will be there until Wednesday of next week, so I would really appreciate your prayers for his safety...and for my sanity while he is gone. I am very proud of what he is going over there to do...but I still wish he wouldn't go. Couldn't he just send them blueprints by mail or something?

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